If you have never felt like this about your children

I'm sorry, but you're not a real parent. Or your children are artificial.

Bill Cosby - Himself

I leave the room for a moment to use the facilities and when I come back, the two of them are stomping popcorn into the carpet. The very same popcorn Miranda had asked to eat and I had just, before my departure, given her a bowl of which to eat. Did you know popcorn is too big to fit in our vacuum cleaner and it jams halfway up the pipe? Me, neither, until now.