Monday, May 5, 2014

A Long List of the "I Should's"

1. I often frustrate my husband by refusing to write down my To Do List. Generally, being a specialist in Household Management, what I need to do surrounds me (unfolded clean laundry, sink full of dirty dishes, flower bed full of weeds, lawn in need of mowing) and yells at me regularly so I don't feel the need to make an actual list. I do what I can and stop when I'm tired. Or when something shiny walks by and distracts me.

However I have a growing list (in the back of my head) of things I need to do, doctor appointments for myself that need making, prescriptions I need to call for refills, but it's very easy to put those things off. Somehow taking care of myself always falls to the bottom of the list. And all of this is complicated by the fact that Miranda's IEP meeting is tomorrow morning.

I both look forward and dread these meetings. It's a great opportunity to evaluate this year and see how far we've come as well as look forward to what's planned for next year. Miranda has an excellent team of head teacher, special ed. teacher and Case Manager, women I like and trust and communicate with frequently. But it also means I have to look her disabilities straight in the face with no opportunity to look away and nothing to lessen the blow.

I usually survive emotionally by compartmentalizing and scheduling and proceduring and pragmatizing my life. I deal with each thing separately (Alex's anxiety or Miranda's refusal to get dressed) instead of looking at it rationally as a part of the whole child. We have procedures for morning and evenings, traveling and special events. This certainly makes it easier for my children to function, but it helps me as well. I don't want to look their diagnoses in the face every morning. I just want to start the pancakes and empty the dishwasher.

But tomorrow is our date with Miranda's team and I should have realized it was bugging me when I spent all of yesterday afternoon making cards (more than 40--Teacher Appreciation Week, Mother's Day, birthdays, get well, etc) and as soon as the children got on their buses this morning, I finished a book and took a nap, instead of looking at the next "I Should."

We don't expect bad news tomorrow. Miranda has done far better academically this year than we expected and the behavioral problems aren't a surprise. Her temper tantrums at 2 years old were impressive and her maturity has been delayed by her disabilities so she doesn't yet have the ability to yank herself back from the edge every time.

I know all of this. But I still dread the meeting.

2. I took the children to Sahara Sam's on Friday night for their Special Needs night which runs quarterly from 6-9 pm and it was a lot of fun. Of course, we came home exhausted but I'm glad we went. Without the crowds and music and other noises of a regular session there, Alex had a much better time. And I never had to worry about getting funny looks from other parents about his behavior. Or worrying that Miranda would get into trouble if she went off by herself. But if we do it again, I'm going to need prescription goggles. I always forget how dependent I am on my glasses until I can't wear them.

3. For my television show to finish for May, I've chosen Person of Interest. I stopped watching it in October because I accidentally saw a spoiler that they were going to kill off Taraji P. Henson's character and then didn't want to watch that happen. So, before Saturday, I had 13 episodes to watch. Now I only have 10. It was a Joss Whedon character kill; it made sense for the story but man, it hurt to watch.

4. On Friday my mother-in-law and I are going to make our annual trip to Longwood Gardens. So prepare yourself for lots and lots of pretty pictures, come next week. Best of all, the wisteria should be in bloom!

5. On Saturday, my darling husband gave three presentations at LOPSA-EAST, 2014, which is a peer group meeting for System Administrators. He did nothing else for the two weeks previous and came up with the coolest handouts, which I happily helped him to construct. I turned 60 of these:

into these:

I was very pleased with the final products and according to him, so were his audiences.

6. I'm hoping to see Rio 2 with my mother sometime this week. Miranda was all set to go with us last Saturday until she got cold feet. Maybe next time.

7. Something Other Than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It by Jennifer Fulwiler (of Conversion Diary) is now available and I'm hoping to win myself a copy! I can usually convince the library to get me most of the books I want to read but somehow I don't think this is on their list of books to buy this summer.

And here's Jen.

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