1. Last week's blog post was amazing and insightful (since I have no record of it, I can really say anything I want) but the Internet ate it. Of course, I am using free software so I've no one but myself to blame for not having copied the text when I got an error message. But, it's Friday, so let's try again.
2. It was another rotten, stressful week here. Having consulted a number of professionals, we are now convinced that Alex is deeply depressed and we will need a medication intervention to get him out of this downward spiral and back into the land where he doesn't hate everything and everyone. Not kidding.
Of course, it helps Marshall and I to know this because we've both been there before, so we know how he's feeling and we know that until all the medications are worked out, he just feels awful. So we've been hugging him a lot more, making sure we say regularly how much we love him, etc. My mother came by at 4:45 last night and swept up both kids to her house for dinner. Peace and quiet for me and fun for them. And I'm going to give him a new book this afternoon, even though he's done nothing to earn it. He is so far beyond earning at the moment; he really doesn't care.
So, those of you who pray for us, keep praying for Alex and for wisdom for our doctors. But my spirits are high, which is crazy and Marshall doesn't quite know what to do with me. Faith isn't usually one of my spiritual gifts (I'm good with encouragement and hospitality and stuff like that) but I think God has given me a special dispensation of Faith right now. I'm hopeful and confident of the outcome, even though I have no rational reason to be so. I'm thanking people left and right for all the do for us because I honestly feel grateful for those who help us love our son. And I'm trusting that God will see us through. Too Weird.
3. So, the irony is, the Bible study my Wednesday morning group just started this week is James: Mercy Triumphs by Beth Moore. Now, if you know your scripture, you know the book of James opens with these verses:
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.
James 1:2-8 (MSG)
Alex has been struggling since May, 2012 and this has affected the mood of the whole household. But here I am, considering all of this torment a "sheer gift." Or, I am trying. Please pray for me, too.
4. So, since life has been so difficult lately, my habit is to drown my sorrows in Shakespeare. This week that has meant watching the first four episodes of Shakespeare Uncovered, a new series by PBS. It is brilliant! If you're not watching it, you are really missing out. I have lots of Shakespeare performances saved on my DVR, but it is never enough. I want them all. I'm going to glory in David Tennant's Hamlet tonight, followed by The Tempest with Trevor Nunn. As long as the Nor'easter doesn't kill my cable feed.
5. The combination of taking Alex to appointments and going to PT myself has meant I am horribly behind on my Valentines. The good thing is, we're supposed to be snowed in tomorrow, so I'll have plenty of time to work on them.
6. I worked on our taxes last Saturday and I'm one piece of paper short of filing them online. I actually sent an email to our mortgage company yesterday to complain that their piece of paper isn't here yet, when it was supposed to have been mailed January 31st. I mean, I know the PO is struggling. but that's a while week. They (the mortgage company) has yet to respond.
7. I did see Les Miz and Lincoln and loved both films. Daniel Day-Lewis can't possibly lose the Oscar race. His performance was breathtaking as Lincoln.
I'm sure there's more I should write (that's what I get for trying to compose blog posts while I'm driving around town) but I'm stopping for now to just have something to post. Oh, I never thought I was going to be that person composing email messages while standing in line places, but that's what I've been doing. At the post office, at church, everywhere. Sigh. I am a smart phone addict.